Emily Sokolow

Yessss! The Superbowl is today!

I didn’t even know who was playing until someone at work asked if I wanted to join a pool this week. I asked who was playing and the guy told me while backing away.

Here’s a brief history of my personal interaction with this all-American event:

Superbowl XXXVII: A Personal Triumph

Until recently, I associated the Superbowl with pledging a sorority. The amazing sorority I wanted to join freshman year had a time-honored tradition in which each year’s pledges present a halftime “dance” at superbowl parties, at a house of upperclassmen guys. There was no effing way I was doing that. I participated as far as wearing the proper colors (Raiders’ black-and-silver) and allowing my face to be painted. I then successfully ducked out completely unnoticed as we were ascending the stairs toward the living room. Taking advantage of the cluster-fuck and drunkenness, I looped back around to the end of the procession line, so there wasn’t enough room for me in the living room. (This is my 1st time admitting this.)

Superbowl XLVII: Prime Reading (& Tweeting!) Time 

I never developed an interest in this game. Visiting my brother in college meant I was forced to attend a couple of Wisconsin football games in ridiculously freezing weather. There are photos of me eating yogurt and reading a book during these games.

Now, Superbowl feels like some kind of milestone in my 1st year back home in 4 years. I’m spending it at my parents’ house (unintentionally; I didn’t realize this weekend was Superbowl Sunday until 2 days ago).

Tonight, I’m excited for more than just yogurt and reading (as if that power combo wasn’t enough). Tonight the added bonus is Twitter. I have fallen in love with Twitter this year - especially during huge public events. I had a blast during the Presidential debates - another event I probably wouldn’t have cared that much about had I not been privy to hilarious real-time commentary offered by professional and amateur comedians.

Participating in a collective conversation with complete strangers is basically the most invigorating experience I’m capable of having these days.

Twitter provides the platform; Superbowl-like events set the topic.

My mom’s response to all this:

I hate that word ‘hashtag’. Isn’t it just this? (Crosses fingers in hashtag formation.)

Follow me tonight @steppenchik.

The Main Idea:

There are two opposing schools of thought: “Net enthusiasts” believe we are in a new golden age of information access and user participation. “Net skeptics” feel we have entered a world of mediocrity and narcissism.

“Deep reading” and “losing oneself” in a book requires the ability to concentrate over long periods of time. The internet challenges this type of reading. i.e. We multi-task, are bombarded with streams of endless information, and it is easier than ever to find more information about topics we are interested in. Personalized magazines (i.e. Pulse, Zite, Flipboard), RSS feeds, hyper-linked articles – every page is packed with links directing our attention away to an entirely different location.

“As our use of the Web makes it harder for us to lock information into our biological memory, we’re forced to rely more and more on the Net’s capacious and easily searchable artificial memory, even if it makes us shallower thinkers.”

 

“. . . we are evolving from being cultivators of personal knowledge to being hunters and gatherers in the electronic data forest.”

- Nicholas Carr

In order to avoid becoming “pancake people”, there needs to be both: “time to operate the machine and time to sit idly in the garden”. The distinguishing characteristics of a well-formed mind include both the ability to “find and quickly parse a wide range of information and a capacity for open-ended reflection.” (Carr 168)

Interesting Tidbits:

• Clocks were invented originally by Christian monks for precise timing of daily prayers
• There were no punctuation marks or spaces in original written language (scriptura continua)
• Reading is pleasurable because of the series of “intellectual vibrations” it sets off within your own mind.
• Enlightenment used to be achieved through introspection, according to American Transcendentalists and English Romantics.
• Now, more access to information means more knowledge and more power – a mode of thought that’s been in place since at least the Industrial Revolution.
• “To be everywhere is to be nowhere.” – Seneca

Brighter Software Means Dimmer Users

As “users” of web technologies, we expect programs and software to be endlessly user-friendly. Apple has revolutionized user-friendly product design, and Google tries to interpret our needs in order to provide the best possible search results. We are so spoiled by these industry leaders, we feel as though all technology should look and feel the same. Programs that  require the least bit of thought or patience are considered executed with “poor UX”.

We simply don’t want to play around or figure anything out by trial-and-error anymore. We lose patience, and feel entitled to something better, more intuitive, something that understands what we want to do and makes this possible with minimal resistance. The result is users who fail to grasp underlying concepts, or themes that exist within these technologies that we can take with us and apply to future interactions.

This interpretation completely challenges what I’ve observed on the web as a cult-like following for UX in both web and product design. Carr put it well: “The brighter the software, the dimmer the user.”

Nature Restores Our Humanity

 Carr does offer us a way out of the “electronic forest” – by referencing both scientific studies and personal accounts of nature as a remedy for this information overload. After spending time in natural settings, away from cities, people are shown to exhibit greater attentiveness, stronger memory and are more calm.

In sum, this book was extremely enlightening – both from an informative perspective, as well as a contemplative one. Highly recommended.

I went to a picture-perfect wedding this weekend, and posted a ton of iPhone pics on Facebook. Everyone complains while it’s happening but then harasses me to post them as soon as I can.

No Good Deed Goes Unpunished

My passion for taking iPhone pictures at events like this lately has led to some heated privacy discussions, untagging requests and questions about how to remove comments. One of my friends went so far as to explain to me that she’s worked so far to get to where she is, and can’t afford to have it all taken away with some drunken pictures of her posted on Facebook. (You’d think the person who said this was a kindergarten teacher, but it wasn’t.) After a post-bachelorette party posting session, I received frantic phone calls from friends who didn’t understand that I set the albums to private, and that no one but us could see them.

I try and be as respectful as possible, and honor all the “take down/untag” requests I can – but I can’t help but notice how increasingly difficult or annoying the process has gotten; ironically as Facebook claims it’s goal is  ”improve” the user experience, it feels more complicated than ever.

More Users, More Responsibility, More Confusion

There’s a huge catch-22 going on with Facebook’s growing popularity and photo-sharing that’s resulting in UX improvements that are actually making everything more complicated than before. It’s the easiest way to share pictures with friends, but this means it’s also the easiest way to inadvertently share pictures with friends’ bosses. Technophile parents are popping up all over the network, and with them comes irresponsible content sharing. Facebook is aware of this, and has made several privacy improvements over the past couple of years.

Unfortunately, these “improvements” are tucked inside Settings windows and easy-to-miss rollover icons, that most users just don’t notice.

So when I get a text message from the bride the day after her wedding asking me how to tag people on her iPhone, I don’t even know where to begin. Facebook has changed it’s user interface so many times – most recently a couple of weeks ago to improve the app’s speed – that it’s pretty impossible to visualize yet alone describe the user-flow of an action as simple as tagging. I had to tell the bride to be patient, and that I’d tag them myself once I got to a computer. The iPhone app was simply too complicated.

View the full *public album on Facebook: Jennie & Tommy

My mom still clips articles and leaves them for me on my desk. It’s nice sometimes, especially if it’s a longer op-ed piece or something from the Sunday Times magazine, as I do enjoy longreads more in print than on screens. Otherwise, when she tells me she’ll save something interesting in today’s paper that she wants me to read, I tell her to not bother – I’ll find it online.

She took the time to grab a pair of scissors, and physically cut out an article to share with me – on social media.

But this week, she cut out and clipped the ultimate irony: an article about social media and the ways in which companies are using it to leverage their market research. It was already funny that she was still doing this for articles in general: obituaries of interesting writers or anthropologists, travel pieces on places I’ve visited or are planning to, etc. But this one took the proverbial cake. She took the time to grab a pair of scissors, and physically cut out an article to share with me – on social media.

I read it, and learned nothing new. It was written for people who do not use social media, but instead clip articles about it. My mother enjoyed it, and I think it helped her understand a little more about the field in which I work and am interested.

I just got a kick out of the message/medium combo.

There are a few complaints I just have been dying to put out there on the interweb recently. I decided to stop putting it off and air my grievances in the hopes that someone finds them, who will either (a) fix what’s wrong with the user experiences of these social networks, or (b) realize I’m the missing piece of their UX or social media team and hire me on the spot. Or, more likely, (c) I’ll get a huge weight off my shoulders by “blogging it out”.

Picasa (or Google Photos, or Google+)

I was one of the first people to join Google+, before it was open to the public. Remember they wanted it to be all “exclusive” and you needed an invite? I actually signed up for a mailing list, to be notified when Google+ was in beta testing. I tried it out, I created some circles, I posted things for about a week before I realized not that many people were using the damn thing. A few weeks later, everyone else did join – and then the cycle repeated itself. Fine, I’m over it.

Until . . . I wanted to view a friend’s photo album recently, and it was literally as convenient as taking the LSAT. The friend is actually a 70-year old author for whom I’m building a web presence. He tried sharing with me a photo album with Picasa. When I clicked on the link in his email, it told me the link did not exist. I had him set up a Google+ account, but still I was unable to view the album. The two of us went back and forth for about a week, until somehow he was able to share the damn album with me. It was shocking how complicated the process was, considering Google+ is supposedly all about sharing and engaging with one’s social circles. It was a mind-bogglingly difficult experience to view this guy’s one simple album.

Facebook’s iPhone App

We all know that it’s slow. Fine. But I only found out yesterday that you can’t even access Timeline from it. Does this make any sense? You cannot convert the user experience on one platform (desktop) and not the other. I was tagged in a friend’s picture, and went to approve the tag but was told the app could not access Timeline. I will, however, give Facebook credit for recently adding the ability to unfriend someone, on mobile. I unfriend people every so often when I’m feeling sassy, and not being able to do this on the go was really inconvenient. I can’t predict when some random person I met on a teen tour 10 years ago is suddenly uploading pictures of their wedding – and I want to be able to unfriend this person immediately. Even if I’m on the bus. Thankfully, this is now relatively simple to do on the mobile app. But the Timeline thing – come on.

Instagram’s Social Options

This is really also a Facebook complaint. Ever since they bought Instagram, you can no longer search for someone on Instagram by their Instagram username. You have to be Facebook friends before you can be connected on Instagram. Which I get – it’s in Facebook’s interest I guess to get even more users. But part of what I love about Instagram is how not intimate it is; it’s supposed to be all about the pictures, not the people behind them. I actually met a girl at a bar who I clicked with, and we tried becoming Instagram friends then and there – only to discover that since we’re not Facebook friends, we can’t. And it feels a lot stranger to quickly “friend” someone you meet when you’re out, as opposed to just following them on something like Instagram or even Twitter. I left the bar that night without having a new Instagram follower/followee, because I didn’t feel comfortable asking this girl to be Facebook friends right away.

Adding someone on Instagram should be much more casual; I see you taking a photo of something interesting, I want to follow you. Not get updates on your sister’s wedding photos or a link to the article you read in the Washington Post this morning.

Phew. I said my peace. Now hopefully some good will come of it, and these weird little kinks will either be worked out or I’ll realize that I’m the dumb one all along. The sad thing is I don’t feel like either of these outcomes is likely.

“The best designers in the world all squint when they look at something. They squint to see the forest from the trees — to find the right balance. Squint at the world. You will see more, by seeing less.”

- John Maeda, graphic designer, computer scientist, university professor, author

The dog park is such a great place to meet interesting characters. Today I met a digital marketing guru (no joke, I checked). We watched my minpin try to maul her 12 year-old standard poodle, and got to talking shop. She advised me to think of my personal online presence as my “brand”.

This week I attended my first Content Strategy conference. I spent an energizing 3 days at ConFab 2012 in Minneapolis, networking my buns off and standing out in a sea of editor-type looking women sporting pixie cuts and plastic cat-eye glasses (I mean that in the most complimentary way possible.)

Here’s what I saw, what I learned, and what inspired me.

First Thing’s First: Updated definitions

Content is “why people go to your site”.¹

It’s the stuff people want to see, read, learn or experience from your website. This includes the text, images and video and even maps, metadata and music.

Content Strategy = the plan for creating and managing content that is: (1) Useful (2) Usable (3) Purposeful and (4) Profitable.²  

This is a combined audience-driven and organization-driven approach. It’s figuring out what users WANT from a website, and how the website’s CONTENT serves those wants.

This results in better user experiences, customer experiences and a more efficient way of managing content. Real world examples were given of companies saving hundreds of thousands of dollars from revamping their content strategy.

A Friendly, Inviting Bunch

Despite my non-pixie haircut, I found most people were extremely friendly and interested in learning about one another’s backgrounds and current relationship with content. I felt welcome and able to strike up conversations easily with those around me at the snack stations during breaks, my table during my Content Strategy 101 Workshop (a la @meghscase and @leecthomas), and even on the streets of downtown Minneapolis as it was easy to spot ConFab attendees with their Brain Traffic swag totes.

Surrounded by pixie cuts

Other Observations from a ConFab First-Timer:

1.   Content Strategy is a melting-pot. I sat next to a VP of Business Development from a top search engine. I met creative directors and people from Interactive teams. Copywriters, magazine editors, PR professionals, web designers, SEO geeks and librarians. Everyone has a unique appreciation for content, it’s creation and implementation. As an SEO person, I felt well-equipped to contribute my two cents to many conversations on good-versus-bad-content.

2.    I only met a handful of “real ones”! Most attendees I spoke to were not officially labeled “Content Strategist” within their organizations. When I met a woman with it written out on her business card, I literally exclaimed to her “You’re a REAL one!!!”. It’s tempting to think we’re all content strategists at heart, but some people really are able to fully dedicate their work to the craft, while the rest of do it quietly at our desks or during overtime.

3.   It’s “not too late to be early” in the content game. Unless you work for a Content Strategy agency, odds are your company or organization still needs a good amount of education on what good content is, isn’t and why it’s crucial to the business’ success. The field has been around for about 20 years, but it’s still marginalized by management and decision makers in the C-suite. I met conference attendees from all walks of life, in a variety of professions, positions and experience levels, who all recognized this reality.

4.   This creates a very strong sense of community. Anyone whodoes realize the value of good content is unified in an effort against those who don’t. We’re like a band of misunderstood teenagers rallying together against the machine of low-quality, low-priority content. There’s nothing like a common enemy to act as a glue that forges strong bonds.

5.   Curation: the “buzzword” that won’t stop buzzing. Someone in my Content Strategy 101 Workshop asked about “curation” and it felt like a sort of Pandora’s box that was too big to dive into. The topic is so popular and so easily misinterpreted that, since it wasn’t on the 101 workshop’s agenda, our presenters perhaps wisely left it alone. A session dedicated to curation was on the schedule for later in the conference, which I did not attend but will look out for notes/takeaways from those who did. Our presenters did reference the Brain Traffic blog as a good resource, and I found this post from 2010 lauding curation as a “new buzzword”. Yet two years later it’s causing a sort of stir within the community perhaps as a backlash result of the traction it’s gained amongst the broader field of digital marketing.

6.   The concept of a “page” is changing. Getting a little technical here, but this point stood out. It was mentioned in the workshop I attended, and in the Twitter feeds of a few attendees of other sessions. It especially hit home with me, coming from an SEO perspective. With Javascript, dynamic content and a bunch of other fancy footwork, web pages are becoming sort of “traditionalized” in favor of sleeker formats.

Final Impressions

Now I’m back home. Feeling more informed and a lot more connected to this exciting and *still new community. Looking forward to staying in touch with the people I met, and getting involved with New York content strategists/orgs!

Here I am feeling “involved” with my gameface on:

Workshop presenters Meghan Casey and Lee Thomas:

Excited for ConFab 2013!

References:

1. & 2.  Content Strategy 101 Workshop by Brain Traffic’s Meghan Casey and Lee Thomas

Instead of filling up news broadcasts, magazines and blogs with meaningless, repetative, irrelevant “news” items that really aren’t “news” – I think it would be nice if said publications and platforms instead announced: “No News Today! Everything’s pretty much the same…concern yourself with something else!”

People would have less time to spend worried about events that a) don’t affect them, and b) aren’t being accurately reported in the first place.

There wouldn’t be this constant need to “consume” news. Either there is news, or there isn’t. I don’t consider anything related to celebrities news. That’s entertainment. I also don’t know if the Style Section is really “news”. Political scandals should have their own platform dedicated to that form of entertainment, with just a reference in main broadcasts. Deaths of celebrities? It’s not news once its been reported! I don’t need to hear about memorials for someone unless its the current President or Vice President! Otherwise – mention it once, and move on!

Living in Israel changed the way I view the news. For one thing, I didn’t watch it on TV. I relied on Facebook to let me know what was buzzing, from statements made by government officials to rockets firing into Israel’s borders. If I wanted more information on a particular story, I could expand the link or look into it further on other sites. But it wouldn’t be jammed into my face 24 hours straight, making all else seem insignificant.

The question I get asked most when telling people I lived in Israel was “Is it dangerous?” I always tried to answer as truthfully as I could, based on what I know to be true.

I’d explain how Tel Aviv is a sort of bubble. How we know what’s going on but don’t let it color our daily lives and interactions. That no one would get anything done if all they did was sit home all day watching commentary or live footage of the latest border attack or anti-Israel rhetoric spewing from extremists (or the opposite, coming from settlement disputes.)

I think we’d all be a lot happier, if more naive, with a more stringent definition of “news”.

I think I should have read more reviews of this book before reading it…as someone who uses the internet, and enjoys reading about it from time to time – this book was boring.

Read Only If You Think Internet = Scary

I had an internal conflict pretty much the entire time as to whether or not I should just quit and move on with my life. I kept thinking of this incredible article about not finishing books just for the sake of finishing them – but it turns out I’m too big of a pushover.

Highly recommended for “technochondriacs”, or anyone who feels like they’re too far behind in today’s digital revolution to understand any of it.

Sorta Like Reading 1984 in 1986

The fact that it was published in 2010 sort of gives it an excuse. The ideas and concepts it discusses have been discussed so much – with colleagues, friends, blogs, etc. – that nothing really felt that “futuristic”.

There were actually several “what if’s” that now exist: we really do receive totally personalized versions of the news through sites like Zite, Flipboard and others. Google really does deliver personalized results based on a person’s social circle, search history and geographic location. It’s pretty neat that Bilton was able to project so accurately these once-revolutionary ideas, but you just can’t read this book anymore if you’ve already had conversations and read articles about this stuff.

Bilton as a Blogger v. Author

Bilton is the lead tech writer for the NYTimes blog, Bits. He definitely knows his stuff – which is why it was frustrating to read sentences like “Look at Apple, the early computer company that has moved into music, music players, cell phones, and new electronic readers.” Ohhhh, that Apple? And this is a line that appears toward the very end of the book. It just felt a little bit too spoon-fed.

That said, it is easier to digest content online when it’s simple, straightforward and with a dash of humor. So maybe the style of the writing is better suited for a blog format, than a 266-page book. In the future (and here’s how it works), I will definitely refer to Bilton when when a new gadget or technology comes out and I want an early adapter’s opinion of it. So…there’s that.

Comparing tragedies is taboo. But this is my blog. And the point of my blog is to examine aspects of life in NY after having lived in Israel for a bit. And this week’s tragedy feels like one of those aspects worth examining.

In the past month:

1. Israel and Gaza were at war
2. Hurricane Sandy blew through NY and NJ
3. Sandy Hook Elementary school shooting

I can’t help but view these events in light of one another.

Hurricane Sandy was a natural disaster that more or less couldn’t have been avoided. The other two are man-made. And as complicated as the Middle East Conflict is – at least it has a story. There are reasons why people on both sides feel so strongly about the situation, whether justified or not.

Friday’s shooting has no defense or explanation. Not a single aspect of it. Friends of mine who are teachers (including my mom) are going to their jobs tomorrow, and will have to have some form of conversation with their students about the event.

I’m looking forward to hearing about it, because I think there can be an opportunity here for one of two conversations: one of healing, understanding, and peace – or one of anger, negativity and hostility. There’s no such thing as revenge or retaliation to be had. We need our teachers and legislators to be PEACE proponents here. We need strong leadership with a proactive agenda that seeks to understand and help – as opposed to blame and punish.

Having metal detectors installed in schools seems to be a band-aid, and a slippery one at that. Israelis are used to security measures at public places; I stopped noticing the guards at shopping malls and restaurants after awhile. I don’t want metal detectors to become so commonplace that they’re accepted as a fixture in our public spaces. The problem is larger than that, and requires a more sustainable solution.

One of my favorite pictures from Israel. Taken near one of my favorite places – the Wishing Bridge – in Old Jaffa.

I don’t want to sound dramatic. I used to hate when I was living in Tel Avi and American friends and family would call me and act as though the world was coming to an end, due to the latest border skirmish between Israel and either the West Bank or Gaza. I remember being there during December of 2008, when Operation Cast Lead conducted 2 weeks of IDF air strikes into Gaza as a defense tactic against Hamas firing rockets into southern parts of Israel, going as far north as Ashkelon.

I remember feeling totally confused, and powerless, watching both domestic and international media reporting the situation. Tel Aviv is only 25 miles from Ashkelon, and 48 miles from Gaza. That’s nothing. That’s a 1 hour drive. Israel is a tiny country, surrounded by enemies. These are facts.

Now, Israel is once again at war with Gaza, in a very similar situation as for years ago. Only now, Tel Aviv was hit. And I feel just as if not more powerless than I did four years ago. Now I’m far, far away from people I love, in a city I miss every single day, that’s actually experiencing incoming attacks.

~~~

I know of 3 reasons for a siren to go off in Tel Aviv:

1. The army conducts drills a couple times a year, to prepare citizens for what this morning was a reality.

2. Every spring, on the morning of Holocaust Remembrance Day. At around 10 or 11:00am, a 5-minute period of silence is observed by everyone on the street – in the city, on the highways, in buses, cars, bikes and on foot. Drivers stop their cars and get out and stand in the street in total silence. Traffic stops.

I remember my 1st time experiencing this, during my 1st spring in Israel in 2009. I was on a bus on the way to work. I didn’t hear the siren, but my bus stopped, the driver got out, and I had no idea what was going on. It took me a second, and then this feeling washes over you: everyone else is observing a ritual. They knew what day it was, and realized what that meant for their morning commute. From the perspective of an “outsider” (an American), it seems as though everyone is suddenly connected through a shared experience as Jewish Israelis. Yes, I’m Jewish, but as an American, I had never experienced a national observance of Holocaust Remembrance Day.

3. To announce a real attack.

~~~

I never heard this third type; only the first two. I know that so far no one in Tel Aviv has been hurt. That 3 Israelis have been killed, and 12 Palestinians (or 19? I’m hearing conflicting reports). What’s so hard to digest is that a missile actually struck the city I lived in. Israel’s largest city. Four years ago, no matter how confused and emotional I was, I never truly feared for my safety. I was never afraid to be on the streets, to ride a bus. Once that war ended, and things went back to normal, I ventured all over Israel without much hesitation.

I hope that Israelis can return to their “version of normalcy” as soon as possible.

When you tell an American you’re taking a bath, they make an awkward face or sound. I don’t blame them; I’m American, too. You take baths when you’re a baby. In fact, you’re “given” a bath. You don’t “take” a bath as a decent adult human being unless you’re (a) getting over a breakup, (b) are a single mom unwinding after a long day of work, (c) are an actress in one of the following films: Helen Hunt in As Good As It Gets, Meryl Streep in The Bridges of Madison County, or Diane Lane in Unfaithful. (These are just the first 3 movie-baths that come to mind. All great films, coincidentally.)

I was reminded of this tonight as I tried to soothe my hamstrings that were sore from raking the lawn this weekend. (So far that’s been the extent of my Hurricane Sandy relief effort. Lots of people are volunteering to actually help people, but my parents both really wanted the lawn raked for some reason, and they were dropping casual complaints about backaches. We all do what we can.)

The English respect the taking of a good bath.

Last October I visited London and stayed with an older British couple I found on Airbnb. I could have chosen a flat with a hip, young host but I’m a homebody and I wanted an authentic British experience.

They were the sweetest people and exceptional hosts who made me feel totally welcome in their cozy and comfortable Hammersmith home, a few tube stops outside central London.They made me fresh porridge every morning, along with this insanely heavy bread that tasted like a brick but I enjoyed its existence because it felt really “British”.

My “host mum” was this adorable lady named Alanna who at age 60 discovered a passion for the Alexander Technique and had recently completed instructor training. My first night there we sat at the kitchen table for hours chatting over tea about her studies, her 1st career as a piano teacher (I also used to play), the books we were then reading, our families and traveling. She said that she and her husband decided to become hosts as a way to experience “travel” inside their own home. Which is brilliant, and inspiring.

And their home had just one bathroom. And the bathroom had just a bath. No shower. Did I mention I was sharing the house with a couple in their late 60′s/70′s?

I tried to act normal (which is really, really hard for me) and not make my very gracious English hostess feel uncomfortable. My “host mum” was sensitive to this being out of the ordinary for an American and said, “This is really a traditional English house!” Then I noticed a grayish section in the middle of the otherwise white tub, where the enamel had been worn out. Evidence, of years and years of butts sitting on it.

I told myself: You wanted authentic? Go with it. 

And I did. I took baths in their bath tub. And yes, it was a little awkward, taking a bath while they’d be downstairs in the kitchen, at night when the house was quiet. I’d wonder if they were also thinking about me at the same time I was thinking about them. You know what? I like to think that I contributed a little bit to the butt spot.

So when I am mocked by my fellow Americans for enjoying baths, I say: not only are you missing out on some simple relaxation, you don’t have the experience of doing so in a relative stranger’s worn-out bathtub, and feeling comfortable enough to not really mind.

I went on a silent walk for peace last week.

It was organized as a demonstration to show support for Israeli-Palestinian solidarity. Designed with Buddhist principals, there was to be no shouting, no posters. Just walking and peace. About 500 people showed up, and after some introductory remarks by event organizers and peace leaders, we walked in a single file around Central Park for almost 2 hours. We were given white sashes to wear over our raincoats. The walk concluded inside the park where we split into small groups for discussion.

I met other like-minded people, which felt surprisingly more rewarding than I would have thought. I don’t go to things like this just to meet people who already agree with what I feel; I don’t really know strongly how I feel about certain things, but when you meet people who affirm certain notions you have but aren’t yet sure how to express them – it’s a actually a really beautiful thing.

The experience was powerful in a number of ways for me personally. One of which involved me deciding to stay involved with the organization that coordinated the walk. It was also very meditative, and I enjoyed the deliberate pace at which we were walking and the deep reflection it lent itself to.

Coincidentally, the date of the walk, October 7 2012, happened to fall on the date of Simchat Torah – the final day of Sukkot, traditionally celebrated by circling the Torah 7 times. We happened to be walking around Central Park on a holiday that’s celebrated in pretty much the same motion . . .

I don’t know why I’m keeping this blog really. My last post was not written in “my” voice. My mom wrote in the comments that other than my comparison to myself as a pedofile (as a reference to how I’d feel going to dog parks without being a dog owner), the post was “warm and heartfelt” — something syrupy like that.

I don’t like syrupy bullshit (a term coined by my dad recently), and I immediately called into question my purpose in blogging when I saw I had oozed the very substance I loathe into the blogosphere.

I just don’t know what the point of this is.

I have this need to “record” my experience in Israel – but I like the idea of recording it as a series of experiences, with common threads perhaps, but not necessarily so they all lead to one underlying message. I could just write this in a journal or on a file on my computer.

But I have an urge to get this out – beyond just me.

I just hate how wishy-washy this feels. And what is “this” anyway?

Part of me just wants to preserve the feeling of having recently lived in another country – that felt so much like home sometimes . . . but also not like it at all. I learned more about myself and the world in the last 4 years than in all the other years of my life combined. More than in college, by a long shot. More than the years right out of college. And I just hope I continue to feel that way, regardless of where I am living. I think my insecurity stems from an anxiety I feel, that if I’m within my comfort zone, I’m not testing myself. And if I’m not testing myself, I’m not affirming myself. Is this a condition? Do other people experience this constantly? Would it be alleviated with more creative expression?

That’s another huge problem of mine. Art. The constant berating myself for never making any. If there’s one thing that makes me attain a higher sense of self other than travel, it’s participating in the creation of artwork that feels as though it’s beyond my control. That I’m the one creating it, but it’s not just me – there’s something coordinating my eyeball and my hand in such a specific way that everything just makes sense.

OK that’s it. From now on, this blog will be my own voice. I’m worried of sounding too liberal or naive – but I kind of like being liberal, and a version of “naive”. . . there’s actually a Hebrew expression that means “false naive” but I can’t think of it at the moment, but that’s me. False naive. I know better, but like to challenge what exists by assuming ignorance.

So it’s decided. This blog will contain a selection of “false naive” pieces composed as a result of my living in Israel. Yofi.

כשהאדמה של הפארק
הייתה מכוסה בבוץ
דווקא לשם הלכתי לנקות את הראש

Though the ground was covered in mud,
This is where I cleared the mud from my head.

Meir Park. “Gan Meir” is its Hebrew name. Located in the center of Tel Aviv, it’s small compared to Park Hayarkon in the northern part of the city – but its central location makes Gan Meir a hub of activity, especially during the weekends and on Shabbat. Tel Aviv’s LGBT community has a center here. It’s also the annual starting point of Tel Aviv’s annual Gay Pride Parade. My favorite part of the parade is always the rainbow-colored version of the Israeli flag. The rest is just really crowded and loud, with not enough totally crazy-looking characters to justify being outside in 100 degree heat for hours on end. I love the gays – just not parades. But those rainbow-Israeli flags inspire me to become more parade-tolerant.

Back to the park. . . It’s not the best cared-for park, compared to parks in NY and other cities. It doesn’t even have that much grass, and kind of looks really crappy when you first see it. But you have to remember it’s a park in the Middle East. It’s technically in the desert. It’s not supposed to have grass. It does have a large lily-pad covered pond with a cute little spurt of a fountain in the center. And lots of benches. I think the benches are by far the highlight of Gan Meir.

There’s a fenced-in dog park inside, but it’s even crappier than the rest of the park. It’s all sand and is totally disgusting, always full of big dogs that only want to play with each other and has only 2 benches to sit on, neither of which are in the sun. Dogs are technically not supposed to be let out of this part unless they’re on a leash. But in typical Israeli fashion…people do what they want.

Once my dog learned of this possibility, she understandably lost all interest in the fenced-in dog park.

Our routine consisted of spending about 30 seconds inside the dog park, sort of just to humor me. Then she’d wait for me to let her out and into the main park, where she’d let loose. Here she could freely tear through the large oval-shaped sort-of-grassy section, doing figure-8′s without stopping. Other owners would play fetch with their dogs, but Betsy never understood that game. She just wanted to run by herself.

Here I didn’t have to explain where I was from, or what I was doing in Israel, or if I speak Hebrew. I remembered what it was like before I had a dog, when I’d wander around feeling like a pedofile. But once I had my own dog, I had a golden ticket to go as I please without having to make light conversation for fear of being discovered. I belonged there, because I had Betsy, so no one questioned my presence.

This all sounds like I adopted her in order to gain access to a sort of crappy-sounding dog park. But I assure you this is not the case. I adopted her one day when I passed by Gan Meir and saw her with an animal rescue organization, as part of their weekly showcase of dogs in need of homes. After just 1 week of having her home with me, we developed a trust in one another that allowed me to set her loose without fear of her running away. I knew Betsy would always come back to me: I was her home and she was mine.

Fall is here, and so is that “Fall feeling”. I keep thinking of this insightful line by blogger OriginalTitle:

“. . . it is now the very early beginning of September and Halloween decorations, sweaters and pumpkin paraphernalia already decorate all venues of mass consumption meant to make you think you discovered the season including Halloween and Thanksgiving on your own when really it is fully by design.”

Totally get that.

I started work last week for the first time in 9 months. My 1st day happened to fall on September 11th, which made the day feel particularly meaningful and in a very solemn way. My new office is not far from the Empire State Building, and walking by there at 9AM on 9/11, just weeks after the shooting that happened at that very spot, was surreal.

The Jewish High Holidays always usher in that Fall feeling – but it’s very different here than it was in Israel, obviously but for a number of reasons:

(1) I love this permanent Get-Out-of-Jail-Free-Card I’ve given myself. I figure: I lived in Israel for 4 years, therefore I don’t need to go to synagogue on the High Holidays. I never went while I was living there – so why should I go now? I never considered myself religious but I feel like living in Israel expunges me from any guilt I would otherwise feel for not going to temple.

(2) That said, I sort of miss hearing Shana Tova a million times during the weeks leading up to the Jewish New Year. A storekeeper wished me A-Happy-And-A-Healthy-New-Year today as I thanked him for popping the lens back into my sunglasses, and I sincerely welcomed the sentiment. I felt like I hadn’t received it enough.

(3) In Israel, it’s very common for companies to give their employees some sort of gift in recognition of the holidays: wine, gift cards, days off. The holidays are acknowledged and celebrated at work, with a company toast or small party. In America, with its separation-of-church-and-state, this would never fly.

(4) Israel shuts down from the High Holidays through the end of Succot. Everyone leaves for vacation, banks close, it’s impossible to rent an apartment since brokers and owners are completely out of touch. The whole country seems to adapt this freedom from accountability for like 3 weeks. It’s a bit ridiculous at first, but this is actually pretty awesome.

My last employer in Israel, a web start-up in Tel Aviv, gave us a few extra days off so we had a straight 11 days out of the office, even though technically the holidays consist of Rosh Hashana (2 days), Yom Kippur (1 day) and Succot (a holiday shortly following the first two, but not as important and requiring only 1-3 days depending on your personal observance).

My new job isn’t giving us any of this time off as paid vacation. I’m not complaining; it’s just such a stark difference from what it was like last year. It feels a little less Jewish and more American.

But the fact that I’m thinking about that and not sure I’m entirely happy with it sort of reverses it. I think I just did an inception on myself. Hate that. But also love it.

I’ve been back for 6 months after living in Israel for almost 4 years.

I returned to the States in March.

This is probably not exciting to anyone but me (and my mom), but it feels weirdly huge to me. And even though this is my blog – I don’t want my mom to be the only person who reads this, so I’m going to try and make it applicable to something bigger than just me.

There’s certain cultural idiosyncrasies I was made aware of while living in Tel Aviv; I picked up on some of them, and I don’t want to see them go. Here’s a few:

1. The “wait” signal – holding up your hand, with all fingers touching each other on the tip, thumb included, facing upwards. The first few times you see someone do this, it looks rude or aggressive. It reminded me of an Italian gesture, which I’m not entirely sure of its meaning…(I recall Julia Roberts’ character in Eat, Pray, Love going through an absurd montage in which this and other Italian cultural quirks were explored. I cannot believe I just admitted to the internet that I saw Eat, Pray, Love. I swear I saw it as a joke.) The Israeli version literally is a perfect translation of the American holding up 1 finger to symbolize “just a minute”. Very useful if you’re on the phone or busy, and someone nearby starts talking to you.

2. The expression “Stam!” (סְתָם) - A slang word that’s hard to translate. Pronounced “stahm”, it can be used to mean “just kidding”, “just because”, or “no reason”. Or nothing really. It has this power to reverse the current of a conversation in a way. You can go on about one thing, and throw in a “stam” and totally change it up. For example: Say something silly . . . “Stam!” . . . take it to a serious place. Or: Make a deep statement about the world . . . “Stam!” . . . back to light-hearted banter.

3. The sound/expression “Pshhhhh!” - I HATED this at first. It’s a sound you make to signify you being impressed with something. If a friend tells you about something exciting they just bought (or a great deal they got), this noise comes out of the receiving party. It’s kinda like “Girrrrl! Look at YOU!” or “Oh no you DIDN’T!” It made me uncomfortable at first – I’m not sure why. But I like it a lot now.

4. The expression “B’tayavon” (בְּתֵאָבוֹן) - Pronounced buh-TAY-ya-VONE, it means Bon appetite. Not really an English translation, but people say it to each other at the beginning of meals. Or even snacks sometimes. I remember eating at my desk in the first few months of me living in Israel, and a co-worker walked by my desk and said it to me. I recall feeling sorta violated, thinking “Why are you like congratulating me for eating?” It’s not a “congratulations” but it felt like it which made me feel super gross inside. And now a little voice inside my head utters it quietly before meals.

5. “Teetchadesh” (תתחדש)- Pronounced exactly how it looks. But an emphasis on the last syllable. It means “Enjoy!” in reference to something new you just bought. It’s really nice to say when someone makes a big purchase like signing a lease or getting an awesome new bag or something legitimate like that.

6. Not sweating the small/meaningless/irrelevant stuff - The amount of patience I gained while living in Israel is one of the most valuable things I got out of the entire experience. The culture is extremely “laid back” in many, many ways; arriving on time is virtually unheard of, as is dressing in formal attire to pretty much anything including job interviews and funerals; one of the most common expressions you hear on the street/at work/with friends is “y’hiyeh b’seder” meaning “it will be OK”. The service industry is a total joke compared to the customer-satisfaction orientation of corporate America. At first I hated this difference, but later grew to appreciate it and am still not sure which extreme I prefer: the lackadaisical, no-rush attitude of Mediterranean culture, or the American focus on fast-paced productivity.

7. Dressing casually…no matter what – The concept of “business casual” is sort of non-existent. You either work in a law firm, wear a uniform, or wear pretty much whatever you want to work. I never once wore my black pants in the almost 4 years I lived in Israel, and I went on job interviews, attended conferences, funerals, etc. You can wear a dress to a wedding (many brides go all-out), but if you want to wear pants as a woman – that’s OK too. Same goes for funerals. Jeans are not frowned upon at an Israeli funeral. It’s refreshing once you get used to it. I sort of took it to the next level, and sorta stopped wearing makeup and earrings regularly to the point of my Dad telling me I look like a lesbian. I think it was due to a combination of living in a hot climate, feeling like some sort of permanent back-packer, and being in a serious relationship…but I only “put my face on” once in awhile. I realized today that the women in my family always wear makeup and earrings, and that it’s just nice to feel attractive even if you might not have a reason to.

I’m constantly struggling to view the world not in black-and-white, but somewhere in between. Some of these quirks represent that struggle; I don’t want to choose between an overly-relaxed, casual lifestyle versus a race for achievement, efficiency and success. Somewhere in the middle sounds best. I’m trying to find a place like that, closer to “home” . . .

Love this video clip of illustrator Maira Kalman explaining her love of walking, as a source of inspiration and meditation. She beautifully describes the feeling I get every time I walk around New York for more than just a quick dog-pee around the block (and sometimes even during those walks).

There’s something so fun about exploring, discovering the tiny things you think others might not notice. I love finding children’s toys on the street; there’s a sad but beautiful juxtaposition between a bright and cheery toy lying discarded on a gray, grimy city street.

What was serendipitous about discovering Kalman’s video today (thanks to Brain Pickings), is that last night I watched an early episode of MadMen, in which new neighbor and divorcee Helen Bishop explains to a group of perplexed housewives why she goes on walks around the neighborhood. A very interesting social commentary on how back then the value of “clearing one’s head” was not the shameless act of self-preservation it is today.